To Endure

Endurance should be subject matter of solicitation.
With Experience as the adviser.

In reality Endurance is the stuff of life and the only advisor is Life. In other words, we get what we don't ask for and have no choice in the matter.

"Endurance and to be able to endure is the first lesson a child should learn because it's the one they will most need to know."- Jean Jacques Rousseau

What do I mean by endurance? In the physical sense of course we know how athletes and those who are in the sporting world require stamina to last through the tasks or challenges set for them. With each achievement comes a new one, and it is the combined endurance of mind and body that will see an individual through each time.

How many times have we heard the word used in association with cricketing greats such as Sachin Tendulkar, or more accurately with the likes of Rahul Dravid? Dravid had a devotion - almost - to endurance, sticking it out on the pitch, defending his wicket, knocking back the balls in an almost meditative manner, giving away nothing, but steadily accumulating runs. 

If we use his approach as an analogy to facing everyday life, perhaps it would teach the impatient among us a thing or two. For what else do we learn from? If our own experiences are too close to actually draw from, may as well use those around us.

Impatience and endurance are not compatible bedfellows. And patient endurance is critical if we are to make it relatively in one piece through some 80 years of existence. And every single aspect of our lives demands it.

As babies we learn to endure the ignorance of our caregivers and have patience with them while they learn to care for us. Conversely as new parents we must endure the intrusion into our lives that a newborn brings. Endure the changes that take place. Endure the lack of sleep, learn to have compassion and empathy, for endurance teaches us all this and more.

"Endurance is one of the most difficult disciplines, but it is to the one who endures that the final victory comes," said the Buddha. 

Sometimes in life, it is all too easy to throw in the towel and declare defeat. Sometimes endurance breaks. And sometimes there has been no benefit to the endurance. And that in itself is a learning. Like fools, some of us take on and live with challenges that are unnecessary to our development through this journey of life. And when we break with this path, it is not that we lack endurance, but that we realise that we have not been enduring what we want to endure; rather that we, in our naivete and longing to prove our endurance, have taken on challenges we are not equipped for.

For what long-distance runner will enter a boxing ring and come out a winner?

The strong implication here is that in order to endure various challenges in our lives, we have to - first and foremost - recognise and build on our strengths. Whatever these are. 

For some it is the intellect, others build on compassion, and still others on their negotiating abilities. I am convinced that if traits such as these are identified when we are children, by our parents and teachers, and we are assisted in their development and utilisation, there is no reason any of us should not endure any challenge we face along our chosen paths. In fact, the path chosen itself is not so much of a mystery rather than an obvious "of course this is what I want to do with my life". 

Those of us with enough insight into our own failures to endure, must at some level see that we have not learnt enough about ourselves, our abilities, strengths and associated possibilities. Not every one is equipped to take on everything. Simplistically put, if someone is born without legs, s/he is hardly going to be an ace salsa dancer. [I am not going to enter a debate on the use of prosthetics here.]

And so I bring this endurance into my favourite topic: relationships.
Reasons we get into these... reasons they succeed or fail... reasons we give up and move out and on...there are way too many factors responsible for any and all of these scenes. But for the ones that do succeed, the ones that seem to evolve into an organism all its own, the ones where the training, the thinking, the associations are in synchronicity, these are the ones that endure or should be endured, or the ones we need to learn to endure through.

Not a chance that I am encouraging people to stay in relationships that are poisonous, hurtful and debasing. These we enter without a complete knowledge of our strengths, etc. But the ones we enter with our eyes wide open, with a competent knowledge of ourselves and of the other, and what we each bring to the table; these are the ones that do endure. And here it is not just about what we each bring, but how we do it. And the insight that comes with self-knowledge allows us mature application of thought and ability. 

It is easy for me to skim lightly through this subject. I know that every single facet of a relationship bears analysis and understanding. However, the topic today is that Endurance, and I am merely a commentator, giving my views and thoughts on the subject.

Feel free to start a debate! Comment away.