Hips Don't Lie!

"Is that him?" Shalu whispered to Rita.

"Can't you tell by how she's leaning into him? Look at her hips!" Rita whispered back loudly enough for Paru to hear her. 

Hoping Vijay hadn't heard as well, Paru eased her hips - which were indeed stacked against Vijay's - back in line with her aching legs, and smiled thinly at her two whispering friends. Glancing up at the grey-haired man with gravitas at her side, she paid little heed to the political discussion he was having with the others in the little gathering on the balcony. As little heed as he paid her anyway, she shrugged.

Him! The man whom she had pined after for close on two years now, but who treated her as he treated everybody else - with kindess and affection, but nothing - not an iota - more.

..............

Two years ago:

A mutual friend of Paru and Vijay decides to set them up. They exchange messages and decide to meet.

Vijay Mehra: Meet me at Cuppa tomorrow? I'm there from 12 onwards. 

Parvati Krishnan: I have a work meeting in the area at 11. Will come as soon as it's over. :)

Vijay Mehra: Looking forward :)

Paru could barely stay focused on the customer meeting. The intricacies of this whole deal were beginning to lose any interest and all she could do was check her watch every 5 minutes. Dammit, she was going to be late.  The minute she could, she made her excuses and ran. Cuppa was a two-minute walk away, but it felt like miles by the time she arrived breathless at the door.

She paused a moment to check herself. Her hair was okay in its bob just above her shoulders. Her lipstick could probably use refreshing but it was just too late for all that now. Sighing resignedly, Paru pushed open the door. Vijay was sitting at the table in the centre of the cafe, reading a newspaper. He had on a grey jacket over a white shirt, his neat grey beard and shock of grey hair all adding up to... an air of gravitas she decided, a word she would always associate with him hereafter.  As she watched the glasses balanced on his nose glint in the light that shone in as she walked through the door, there was absolutely no reason for the insane drumming her heart took up. He's just so... but before she could complete her thought, he looked up and caught her standing and staring. 

All she remembered of the rest of that coffee meeting was: dry lips, dropping her laptop bag several times, slopping coffee from her cup into her saucer - shaky hands, just completely unable to hold a rational conversation, making a complete fool of herself, and some conversation about her divorce and his. Oh, and yes he was starting a book club and would she like to join? Oh, yes, she would!

They meet again:

Vijay Mehra added you to the Group "Biblio".

What? He hadn't forgotten?? With great delight Paru perused the next few messages, and replied saying, yes, absolutely, she would love to come to the very first meeting at Vijay's house.

She was the first to arrive and nervously stayed out in her car, wondering if she should go up until the appointed time. She hesitantly asked him:

Parvati Krishnan: Here early. OK to come up?

Vijay Mehra: Of course!

Parvati Krishnan: Do you have anything to eat? She felt like a fool, but she she had to ask. She'd come straight from work and if she didn't eat she knew she'd get a headache and that would be the end of her evening.

Up in his kitchen:

"This is such a bachelor's pad! No stove, no microwave... clearly you don't cook!" Paru smiled, bemused.

Vijay chuckled his acknowledgement. "Food comes from dad's place when I'm home. It's just me. No need for food and all. Now what can I get you? Will toast and peanut butter work?"

"Oh yes please!" Parvati accepted the offer with alacrity and proceeded to toast and peanut-butter her way into the evening.

The evening itself was marvellous, meeting so many new and interesting people. Some of whom she'd heard of before, and some whom she had met. Everyone had layers and depths just waiting to be uncovered in a room full of discovery-ready energies, happy to discuss themes, characters, plots and history over several glasses of wine, whisky or water.

Paru went home feeling content and satisfied that night.

And Again

Vijay Mehra: I'm having a party at home on the 10th. Please come?

Parvati Krishnan: I would love to. What's the occasion? 

Vijay Mehra: it's my birthday :)

Parvati Krishnan: Oh! How lovely! What would you like for a gift? 

Vijay Mehra: Nothing at all! Just come.

Parvati Krishnan: I'll think of something.

Vijay Mehra: :)

Again, Paru arrived earlier than everybody else. Not sure of what to expect and whom else he was expecting, she nervously dressed in jeans and high heels. She'd bought three books for Vijay, wrapped tightly in wrapping-paper, and with shaking hands she proffered her gift to him when he opened the door, with a bright "Happy Birthday!" Instead of taking the books from her, he waved her in, she tripped on the threshold, and fell on her knees in front of him, the books sliding from her hands and the paper ripping apart.

Mortification is my middle name was more or less Paru's thought as she gazed, aghast, up at an amused Vijay. 

The rest of the evening was pleasant enough, with some celeb sightings and strange conversations about caviar. She stayed to the end, watching the two-piece band jam with Vijay. There was a brief moment as he held her hand, and she wondered if it was a request for her to stay, but it didn't translate to words. So, she left, a smile and a question on her lips.

And Again

Vijay Mehra: I have to go to an old school friend's birthday party tomorrow. Would you like to be my Plus One?

Parvati Krishnan: Yes! 

Vijay Mehra: Perfect! We need to be there at 8, I'll pick you up at 7:30. See you soon!

Giddy with being his plus one, Paru's smile was dazzling all evening long. Every woman loved her, every man wanted to meet her, and when someone referred to Vijay as her husband, she almost cried with happiness inside. A couple of drinks down, and she made her way to where he was chatting with the birthday boy.

"There you are, husband!" Paru winked.

"Huh?" Vijay raised an eyebrow. Paru laughed and explained that someone there thought she was his wife. "I should be so lucky!" He replied, smiling. It was a kind reply, she thought, as she caught the undertone of impatience.

As they neared her home, Paru said, "I had a lovely evening, Vijay! Thank you!" And then, with slight hesitation, she added, "Would you like to come in for a drink? You haven't visited my new place."

"I'm tired, so not today, but one day soon, ok?" he smiled cordially at her. They hugged as always, and she went in, wondering What am I not getting right?

And Again

And so it went on, this intermittent dating, over a span of a year or more. Never anything more intimate than a hug or a peck on the cheek passing between them.

Vijay Mehra: There's a good band playing tonight close to your place. Wanna go?

Parvati Krishnan: Yes, I'd love to!

Vijay Mehra: Pick you up at 8.

Parvati Krishnan: OK, see you soon!

And Again

Vijay Mehra: Play at Rupam. Have two tickets. Come with?

Parvati Krishnan: Most definitely! Will come from work.

Vijay Mehra: See ya there!

Sitting together in the audience, sharing laughs, opinions, and finally a quick drink before getting dropped off. Quick hug and good night.

And Again

Vijay Mehra: Play at Jip. Shall we?

Parvati Krishnan: By all means! It's Sunday, shall I drive us?

Vijay Mehra: Sure! Thanks!

At the theatre's breakout area before the play, somebody asks Paru, "Who are you here with?" And Vijay's smiling response to the man, "We came together," before she could reply. She'd looked at him, pleased and puzzled. He only smiled at her with his usual warmth.

And Again And Again And Again They met and they met and they met. But nothing ever happened. She enjoyed her time with him so very much and she longed for it to be so much more than the comfortable friendship they shared. After all, weren't they "set up" to date each other?

And so it happened that Paru decided that today was the day she would be brave and just ask him what the deal was. They were meeting for Sunday lunch at a new sushi bar. They did their usual catch up and began exchanging news as they dug into the little delicacies that came their way on the little conveyor belt. 

When there came a lull in the conversation, choosing her words, carefully, Paru said, "So, Dr. Mehra, I have a question for you."

He paused, his usual bemused smile lighting up his eyes. "You do, do you?"

"Yes," she looked defiantly up at him.

"Shoot!" he said and gestured with palms spread wide. Did he know what was coming? Damn the man for reading my mind! 

"Okay then," She turned to face him as squarely as was possible when seated on a stool beside moving dishes. "Can what we have ever be more than what it is?"

He seemed to deliberate mentally as he studied her for a moment. "Do you mean a relationship?" Paru was glad he wasn't playing obtuse.

"Um.. Yes...?" 

"Paru... I'm not ready for a relationship," she rolled her eyes. There it was. After everything, after all this time, after deciding that yes, this was the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with, there it was: the same old, same old BOLLOCKS. "I don't want to be in a relationship. I'm happy as I am. I think we are happy as we are. I don't want to change anything."

"Right," she said. But having come this far, she decided she'd need more than this worn-out dialogue from a man she definitely knew was capable of better. "So, you don't want to be in a relationship at all or is just not with with me?"

"With anyone," pat came the reply. Nothing she could argue with.

"But why?"

"I don't know. I just don't" Ah ambiguity.

"Is it the expectations? Is it that you think all relationships come with expectations?"

"Yes. That's it. I don't want to deal with expectations," he said, looking her straight in the eye. Well done, Paru, you gave him the rope to hang you with.

"What if I told you I have none?"

"It doesn't work that way, Paru. We all do. I do too. And I just don't want the pressure of having to live up to them, etc. etc." he looked tired. 

"OK then. Fair enough!" Paru rapidly blinked back tears as she picked another bowl off the belt. "We can go back to discussing my upcoming trip to Italy."

"Thank you! So, Italy then, eh?"

"Yep. You wanna come?"

"Why not!?"

And before Paru could get any ideas of wild escapades while visiting David in Florence, the Pandemic struck Italy and hard. And then, soon enough, it hit home. She didn't see Vijay for a long time while the lockdowns went on. And when they lifted, it was infrequently, at this party or that.

Tonight it was a Christmas party, and it had felt bloody good to see him after months. He had sauntered onto the balcony where she had been chatting with some friends. When he arrived at her side, she threw her arms around him and then introduced him to everybody. In his usual Vijay style, he had begun conversing with someone about something (political), and she had taken advantage of his arm around her to lean against him, if only to feel close to him for a moment. Her hips stacked up against his.

Paru smiled at Shalu and Rita, and nodded. Yes, this was indeed him. And, as she turned to look once more at his grey beard, and listen to his easy laugh and warm voice, she noted And it would always be him. She let her hips slide back against his, it wasn't like he even noticed anyway, and tucked her arm in his, drawing warmth on a cold December night. He absently patted her hand and continued... being him.