My real first love

"Handsome is as handsome does". Or something like that is what I try to teach my little guy. Naturally curious, a veritable sponge with all things informative and those also useless, this boy has a brain that is continuously on the go. Like all boys, he is obsessed with creating havoc, oneupmanship, picking up and examining filth, and bossing his little sister. But that's pretty much where the similarities end.

I have friends who have never heard his voice in spite of knowing the lad for years. In school he whispers to select teachers and friends. The sound of his own voice is unbearable to this child.

If you want to talk to this boy, you better come prepared with something in animal form; or better still come as an animal! The only thing in this world that gets him to forget his debilitating self-consciousness is the presence of an animal. It's literally like magic. Introduce said dog or cat (or what have you) into his environment and just like that the raised eyebrows relax, the widened eyes shine and focus, the smile is spontaneous and the voice is audible... no, loud! The stiffness in his limbs melts away and he becomes the little eight-year-old he otherwise stows away inside. Out pop the endless questions, comments, ridiculous remarks and other nonsensical outpourings characteristic of this age, unhindered, unselfconscious. 

Rishi came into this world most unwillingly. After an induced labour which lasted over 24 hours, he was forced out screaming lustily, an angry red. When they wheeled him off to the nursery for the various checks and tests, I could hear him hollering all the way from my room.

I don't recall exactly when his self-consciousness and shyness began. But it was somewhere around the time he started school or just before... around the age of 2 - 2&1/2. Until then I remember him being pretty vocal, if not actually loud. 

Rishi did not walk until he was 18 months old. I think he began crawling only at 1 year. So if he wanted something and was unable to get at it, he would just sit up and yell his lungs out until I figured out what it was he wanted. He's been known to do this in several social situations - birthday parties, barbecues, play dates... silencing everyone for a couple of moments!

After Rishi was born, he and I did everything together. If I went for a walk it was with him strapped to me or in the stroller. We explored parks, roads, shopping malls and every diaper changing station together. I think our favourite time together was sneaking off to McDonald's - he was about 18-20 months old - where I'd buy some nuggets and we'd go sit by the pond in the park and watch the ducks. If this was learning time for him, it was big time learning for me too.

I watched this infant child devour books, constantly demanding stories be read to him over and over until he knew each one by heart. He would sit in the backyard shouting directions at me/ my mother / the babysitter as to what alphabet he wanted drawn with chalk. I think the gift I got him that he was most excited about was a magnetic board with magnetic letters when he was just over a year old. 

I'm not kidding: this kid was spelling out three-letter words by 18 months - even if he couldn't walk three steps by himself.

I was rotund with the second baby when I decided enough was enough and dragged his little bottom off to physiotherapy. Apparently I hadn't been doing enough with him to encourage him to use his legs. I still feel like that today. As much as I want to drag him for a walk or a run or a swim, there is stiff resistance and the nose buried in a book. 

Rishi has me torn between awe and frustration a lot of the time. He is so quick to retort to my questions / statements / requests / orders with sarcasm and he knows he's got me. After all I do not want a battle of wits with my child... well not at age eight anyway! Maybe at 20 when I can give as good as I get it may be fair (Or hopefully I'll be able to give as good as I get.. knowing him I'll just be left open-mouthed and speechless!). But otherwise he has become my little go-to guy for trivia. Rishi seldom forgets anything he reads, watches or is told. So when I forget why Pluto is no more a planet... or what Age the T-Rex belongs to... or what constitutes a fruit/tuber/vegetable, this little fellow is like a walking encyclopedia. 

Rishi has these great big eyes with which he looks gravely at me every now and then, gauging my mood and what I may or may not say to something he has on his mind. By now he knows I don't have all the answers, and Google is the new go-to mom albeit under the actual mom's supervision. I tell him to write down his questions so that he can remember to research them when we have time. Sometimes he does that. For nowadays it is only occasionally that he acquiesces to my suggestions. What he does do, though, is make lists. He loves making these. Lists of his friends, lists of his toys, lists of his favourite Star Wars characters, lists of his books, lists of anything that can be listed. My help, Esther, appeals to this quality of his and enlists his aid in  making shopping lists or lists  of expenses, all of which he very ably does.

At school this boy is proficient in everything except Sports (no surprise). In the span of his second year he has mastered both the second grade as well as the third grade syllabus. His teachers enjoy this boy even if he is quiet and shy. He has friends who love to listen to his stories and share theirs with him. And he thinks it's great fun to hide up a tree in order to avoid sports class.

For me as his mother, what I struggle with most is just keeping up with him. There was a time I could name every engine in the Thomas the Tank Engine series... every car from McQueen... every rubber dinosaur he collected... and knew every book in his collection. Now that he has read every Harry Potter book (twice) and is deeply engrossed in Star Wars and Lego, I find myself stuck for a frame of reference. I try - I really do - to keep up, but it is hard to do. I wonder how soon it will be that he pooh-poohs his mom as someone who doesn't know anything anymore. 

But whatever and whenever it happens, I hope he will always know one thing: that he was and is my first love. He was and is my greatest teacher. He was and is my most wonderful source of inspiration and motivation to learn. Although I long for the days he sat in my kitchen and banged on vessels, I also enjoy the animal-loving sponge he is and look forward to knowing the man he will be some day.

My darling little boy. One day should you chance upon this piece of writing, know this: "You are my little man. You teach me things I could never learn otherwise. You make me constantly want to improve on myself. You have taught me so much patience and understanding. You came into my life and made me who I am today - a mother - your mother. I love you to the moon and back, and beyond infinity, my darling boy. Please know that I am and always will be your mama and am always here for you, no matter what. God bless you."